Weekend To Remember

A few weekends ago,  J and I attended Family Life's Weekend to Remember conference.  This was our second conference.  About 2 1/2 years ago we attended one at Sanibel Harbour Resort.  At the time I was in a very angry place in my marriage and, although I wanted to go, I was mainly hoping the conference would show my husband all the errors of his way.  I thought maybe it would teach me how to better communicate to him the things he was doing wrong.

Well, of course, that is not what it did.  I don't remember all the details of what I learned at that event, but I do know I was inspired to do the work to create a great marriage.  After that our marriage began to improve, mostly because we each stopped trying to change each other and instead started changing our own attitudes.

Fast forward a couple years and we had the opportunity to attend another Weekend to Remember.  Jeff actually brought up the idea and kept asking me to make a decision.  I was reluctant just because I didn't want to spend the money and my mom wasn't very firm on her commitment to babysit.  Eventually we just decided to go and then at the last minute also decided to book a hotel room.  The conference really was not that far in distance, but once we added in actual travel time and the price of gas, we just decided to enjoy the weekend.  That was a great decision.  It was definitely worth the time and money we alloted.

The biggest difference between the first and second conference was that our minds were open to the lessons.  We didn't have to spend the time trying to feel less angry or more loving and could instead focus on learning the underlying lessons on communication, respect and togetherness.

Here are the lessons that impacted me most for the weekend...

• Acceptance of our spouse should NOT be based on performance.  "You do your part, and I'll do mine."  This is definitely something I have struggled with in the past.
• "Sheath your sword" by offering your offending spouse grace instead of anger
• Our children have their whole lives to pursue their dreams.  We as parents don't have to fulfill them all now.  Our time is better spent giving them a loving home and modeling a strong and healthy relationship.  (This wasn't actually something that was taught, but an epiphany of sorts I had during the weekend)
• Your spouse in NOT your enemy.

Overall it was a wonderful weekend.  We met a few other really nice couples.  We also encountered a lot of couples who were in crisis.  I hope this weekend was able to give them hope and enable them to begin the healing process in their marriages.

Family Friday: Myrtle Beach

So after our last minute venture into North Carolina we continued onto our original destination: Myrtle Beach. My hubby's Mom moved to Myrtle about 6 or 7 years ago. Since then we have only visited her once. She has visited us a few times, but we don't get to see her as often as we would like.

I feel the need to interject a side topic here: Mother-in-Laws. Every time I hear some horror story, read a blog, or talk to a friend ;) about their MILs, I feel very blessed. I have a great MIL. I will say that I attribute this partially to my MIL and I, but I also give credit to my DH. I think a lot of In-Law issues stem from the husband (or wife) being unable or unwilling to put their spouse first. I don't think my husband has ever been a "Momma's boy" but I do know that from the beginning he showed with his actions and attitudes where his priorities are. Now my In-Laws would never treat me like the stories I have heard, but I know if there was ever an issue my husband would stand beside me. And, in just saying that, I realized that this is another reason for the no conflict.

Ok, back to the original topic. We arrived in Myrtle Beach around 5pm. After a short visit with J's Mom and her husband we headed out to dinner. They took us to this really cute little pizza place, Mellow Mushroom. The food was great. Ok, well the only thing I could eat was a grilled chicken salad, but the pizza looked and smelled DELICIOUS! I would definitely like to return some day when I am able to eat bread again.

Saturday we did a little shopping. I bought a new pair of jeans and then we hit the grocery. Jeff spent most of the day helping his Mom with some computer issues. That evening we were lucky enough to be able to enjoy a dinner alone thanks to my MIL. Jeff took me to this restaurant on a pier by the ocean. It was a nice little place, but our food was not the greatest. Still, we enjoyed ourselves and the scenery. After dinner we headed upstairs to the outdoor bar/lounge area. I had 1/2 a beer (lightweight) and we enjoyed the view of the ocean and boardwalk. We are pretty boring, so we were home and in bed by 10pm.

Sunday we had planned a trip to the beach. It turned out to be a perfectly beautiful day. We traveled about 30 minutes to Huntington Beach State Park. This is also the site of an old Spanish-style castle called Atalaya. My MIL thought the kids might enjoy touring this site, and they did. T still has the map of the house in the car and will occasionally ask "Did we see the outdoor studio?" I have answered that question 10 times so far, but he still insists on asking.

After our tour of Atalaya we walked over to the beach and enjoyed a picnic lunch. Then Jeff and the kids played in the sand while the rest of us sunbathed and enjoyed a book. It really was a lovely day. There were even several people swimming, but the water was a little cold for us.

Later that day we returned home and the kids spent some time playing with the neighborhood children. We grilled out for dinner and started gathering our items for our return home.

Monday was a very long day in the car. We left Myrtle Beach about 9am and spent way too much time on some back roads getting to the highway. Scenery is nice, but not when you just want to get home. Overall it was one of our best family vacations. We had a great visit with Jeff's Mom. Jeff and I had a lot of time to talk and dream. The kids were pretty good in the car and we made some great family memories.

Family Friday: North Carolina

Last weekend we had planned an extended weekend get-a-way to visit my MIL in Myrtle Beach. This also coincided with DH and my 10th Wedding Anniversary. At the last minute we decided to leave a day early and travel first to North Carolina. We wanted to see the state we had previously only driven through and view some fall foliage. It ended up being 5 1/2 days with a lot of car time, but also a lot of fun.

We left Wednesday night with a goal of getting to Savannah. The whining started pretty soon after that. T's DVD player only lasted about 30 minutes and he somehow managed to loose all the games for the DS. We had the player, but nothing to play. He is lucky he has a nice sister who let him plug headphones into her player and share her movie. But after about 3 hours he was done in the car. The poor kid is not good at car trips. I feel for him because I was the same way. I was never able to fall asleep in the car which makes for a long trip. T rarely ever sleeps in the car either. M loves to ride in the car and we very seldom get any complaints. And candy usually takes care of any of her ills anyway.

So, back to our trip. We had to stop early on Wednesday so we spent a little longer in the car than anticipated on Thursday. We drove to Greensboro, NC and found a hotel after a short exploration of the city. This was our anniversary night so we looked for a nice place to have dinner. We lucked out and found a restaurant right next door called Daryl's Woodfire Grill. It was a very nice place and, from the talk surrounding us, I believe it had just reopened from renovations. The food was very good and we were delighted to have a pleasant, and delicious Anniversary dinner.

The next day we got up early and the kids enjoyed a free breakfast and some cartoon time while Jeff and I packed. Then we headed off to find coffee and explore the city. Greensboro has a very nice "greenway loop." There was a nice crispness in the air and, luckily, I had remembered to check the weather and we were all appropriately dressed. We had what I like to call the "Savannah incident" a few years back where we all showed up in shorts to a cold rainy weekend in Savannah. I was much better prepared this time. After a few hours of exploration we set off for Myrtle Beach and the next leg of our journey.

To Be Continued....